Thursday, June 2, 2011

Ales and Tales; the first great appearance

As you will have guessed from the title, the land of Eriador has been blessed by my presence once more upon the musical stage. This appearance has been a long time coming, and I'm sure that many people have been waiting impatiently for the happy event. But they need wait no longer for I have stepped back into the limelight that is my due.

The crowd was ecstatic. The cheering was deafening. The dancing was inspired (by me, of course). My genius resounded to the heavens, and reverberated around the hills. People went away with tears in their eyes, clearly thinking of how poor and miserable would be their existence without that sight of the divinity granted by my musical genius.

Not that anybody actually said this to me, but I am adept at reading between the lines.

There were some minor annoyances. I was not allowed to play my own music, only allowed to reproduce the music of others, a decision I just cannot understand. Why would anyone wish to hear music written by my Fool when they can hear music written by me? Who would choose the overblown melodies and vulgar rhythms of my Fool when they could listen to the pure clarity and inspiration that is my own composition? And I'm sure this Astleigh person is very nice and very worthy in her own way, but really. There is just no comparison.

And the venue! For my debut performance in Eriador I was expecting something a little more appropriate than a dank and dirty marsh. What about an enormous stadium? A King's Palace. Well, that might be difficult, as there is no King, but at least a Steward's Palace. A wizard's rotunda? None of the above.

Instead we got to sniff neekerbreeker crap and fight off the goblins. Shocking.

In other matters (although still about me, fortunately) I am struggling to reach the 40th level. Not that this is an accurate numerical description of my talent, but I have no immediate remedy for this. Mostly I struggle as my Fool wastes too much of his time writing what he fondly calls "music". It isn't music, of course, it's socially and artistically retarded horse turd, but that's a whole other discussion. Anyway, I struggle to kill baddies, they struggle to kill me. I am presently wandering around some place called Eredim. I think. There is some large statue there, over some river or other, and I have been assigned some menial jobs there. I get around to them when I can. I cannot see the hurry to do someone else's dirty work.

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