Monday, August 29, 2011

Proof that Beorbrand is degenerate

You knew it. I knew it. But here is the proof. Beor after a hard night carousing in the Dancing Goat. Lying in the fountain in a drunken stupor. I was tempted to hold his head under, but then it occurred to me that I might have to play the pipes. Shudder. Anything but that.

So I pulled him out, dried him off, tidied him up, and sent him along to Bree Work and Income to try and get him a real job.

No luck. Nobody wants to hire no-good layabout drunken sots of bagpipe players, who only wash when they end up in the fountain after a hard night.

I guess he'll just have to stick with Booze, Bottoms and Bluebonnetts.

Our show last night was, of course, a huge success. We wore our new outfits from the lady Wrenaya, and we sang her special song. My heart broke inside me as she wasn't there to hear it, but I sang it anyway. I'm sure that the lady Gingerale was most taken with my handsome, but saddened, looks. I think that a sad demeanour is very becoming and makes me look even more handsome. I should cultivate it more, I think.

The after-gig party in the Drunken Goat got a little out of control, and poor old Carica ended up getting assaulted and robbed by Bluebonnett. Trust me, I was watching. But I only took a small amount of cash. Bluebonnett took the pies and dress. Actually, the lady Gingerale proved she was no better than she ought to be, as she was a clear receiver of stolen goods, no matter what she may claim to the contrary.

As you can see, she is wearing Carica's stolen dress, while pretending she isn't. Shocking, ladies and gentlemen. Absolutely shocking.

So I blew her a heart, just to underline the point. Beor could only manage a wimpy ship, not nearly as good as my heart. But either way, Bluebonnett hates the smoke so that all just adds to the enjoyment.

Actually, speaking of Bluebonnett, she was a great hit on her cowbell, playing The Bluebonnett Blues. The lyrics are at the bottom of the abc file,  (and at the bottom here) and she sang 'em well. Oh yeah.

In other news, I have gone into Moria for the first time. Oooo...that's a nasty place. All grey rock, and grey rock, and grey rock, and, hey, a little more grey rock. And goblins. It's hard to imagine how I'll get right through to the end without going bonkers.

I think that instead I shall entertain myself by writing some skirmish guides, to help other people do skirmishes. Spread the love, so to speak. Spread the knowledge. Be a helpful puppy. Lend a helping hand. That's just my style.

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 My name's Bluebonnett and I play the BELL
 You don't like it? You can go to hell.
 'cause my name's Bluebonnett........ yeah yeah
 oh, my name's Bluebonnett...... ooo yeah
 my name's Bluebonnett..... I'm singing the Bluebonnett Blues

 I might be short, I might be small
 But when I play my cowbell, I'm 10 foot tall
 'cause my name's Bluebonnett........ yeah yeah
 oh, my name's Bluebonnett...... ooo yeah
 my name's Bluebonnett..... I'm singing the Bluebonnett Blues

 You're allowed to cheer, you're allowed to yell
 You have to dance, when I bang my bell
 'cause my name's Bluebonnett........ yeah yeah
 oh, my name's Bluebonnett...... ooo yeah
 my name's Bluebonnett..... I'm singing the Bluebonnett Blues

 Hey little bobbit man, you look real swell
 Why don't you come up here and ring my bell?
 'cause my name's Bluebonnett........ yeah yeah
 oh, my name's Bluebonnett...... ooo yeah
 my name's Bluebonnett..... I'm singing the Bluebonnett Blues

 I play it soft, I play it loud
 When I play my cowbell, I impress the crowd
 'cause my name's Bluebonnett........ yeah yeah
 oh, my name's Bluebonnett...... ooo yeah
 my name's Bluebonnett..... I'm singing the Bluebonnett Blues

 So that's my story, now you know it well
 I'm Bluebonnett and I bang my BELL
 'cause my name's Bluebonnett........ yeah yeah
 oh, my name's Bluebonnett...... ooo yeah
 my name's Bluebonnett..... I'm singing the Bluebonnett Blues

1 comment:

  1. Dim-witted, perverted snot
    Aegthil had a problem with rot
    Beorlich gave an itch and
    Proceeded to get rich
    'Til Cher tied Aeg in a bowknot.

    Bwaha. Goats. Pfft.

    -B.B, Most Degenerate

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